Without us, Hollywood is screwed!

By Anonymous

One of the many duties I had as a television office PA was copying scripts and distributing them to the crew, studios and networks. On one particular occasion I arrived at the Studio, stacks of scripts in hand ready to be handed out, when I saw that the main building was being evacuated. After asking some of the employees lined up outside the building what was going on I learned that there had been a small fire on the 1^st floor of the building, and consequently everyone was being evacuated. Knowing this would interfere with my script deliveries I called my production coordinator (AKA Satan) to let her know of the situation.

After clearly explaining the circumstances she huffed and sighed overdramatically, muttering “Goddamnit – can’t you just sneak in there and deliver the scripts quickly? We told the executives they would have the scripts THIS MORNING, so you’re just going to have to find a way to get in there.”

I explained to her that at the moment this really wasn’t possible, seeing as the building was ON FIRE and security officers and firemen were standing guard and escorting everyone away from the building. Additionally, I wasn’t sure what good it would be to deliver these scripts if the building was going up in flames, and no executives would be at there desks to read them anyway. She didn’t seem to understand my point.

Her response was “fine, whatever, just deliver everything else and come back later. I’ll just have to explain that our PA couldn’t figure out a way to deliver them on time.”